I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
