I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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