I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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