I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my poor anus
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
