What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
