Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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