It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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