i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
