He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
