And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
