i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
