Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My feet surprised me
God, I missed his penis.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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