going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
