Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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