I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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