I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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