how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
