I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
