I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize