ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
