you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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