The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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