Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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