i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize