I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
