we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The Olympian is in my bed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
