MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
