DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
