guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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