It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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