Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
