Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize