Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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