I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
