I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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