i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
