I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
