Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
