I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
