Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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