somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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