I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
