it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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