with your own penis?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
