Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
