if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
