I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
