pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
