when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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