That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
