If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize