i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Randomize
