oh god the rape fog is back!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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