I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
