we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
