just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
