believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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