the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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