Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
