i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
